Today the class started presenting their projects. I thought about going today, but I decided that I wanted a day to process everything about this project for myself before I tried to describe my experience to my classmates. Let's just say that I decided that the point of this project has been made. I wanted to get myself to turn to writing to help solve my problems. Today my mom handed me a thank you card to write out for my coach. I sat for a few minutes and, realizing that I had no idea of what to say, immediately ran over to the computer and pulled up my blog. It's now a habit for me to write when I need to untangle my thoughts. That's what I wanted in the first place, and that's the habit I've formed. But now I've got to stop thinking about Daffodil and start thinking about tomorrow. Tomorrow is my cross country banquet. I have to write a thank you letter to my coach and write out a speech to give to my girls. And write it out on notecards, because one of the girls wanted me to write it out on notecards, and if that's what will make her and the rest of the team smile then that's what I'll do. Heck, I'll even practice it in my room. But first the daunting task is to write it. But before I get lost in that I have to do the coach's thank you card. And I have to write my Daffodil project response and turn it in online. And I have calculus bookwork. And I have to have Siddhartha read by Friday. And that's not even the half of it. Sigh. See why my brain is frazzled? Anyway. Coach. Here we go.
Dear B -
Every year us girls This has been such a great year. The girls don't Every year of cross country has its trials. As a team, there is no way that we could get through these troubles without you. I know that you may not feel our appreciation throughout the season, but we finally have this chance to show you how much you mean to us. This year may not have been the easiest, but it was the year that you showed us your strength the most. You're an amazing coach, B. We owe so much to you. You're a great role model in our lives and we are so glad that we have you to lead us. You teach us so much - not only about running, but about life. Thank you for everything that you've done for us.
Love, [insert girl's names here]
Okay. There we go. Once I get started, it works. Sometimes it's just getting those first words out in a way that feels good that troubles me.
Okay, now I have to write my speech. I know that technically I don't have to write anything out beforehand (nobody in any of my years of cc or track has pre-written anything), however I wouldn't feel right if I didn't. After all, I have so much to say to my team and I don't want to forget any of it.
But I have so much to do. So I don't really have time to think about this right now. Agh. And did you know that there are only nine days until Thanksgiving? And that my family is hosting? And that I have to help get the house clean, too? Goodness gracious my mind truly is everywhere.
Focus. Cross country. Banquet. What to say to the team. Uhm. Here we go with the starting thing again. I'm not as good at this part...
Okay. I just did my Daffodil project response. Now I think that I can maybe write a little bit. Maybe. Uhm. Uhmm. Uhmmm.
Maybe I'll just outline some points I want to make.
That was a great first point. *facepalm*
- I have a lot of things to say to you. I'm not going to be able to say them all tonight because if I did, we'd be here all night. And all day tomorrow. And all day the day after that. I'd probably never shut up. So yeah, I can't say everything here. Know that I forever have more to say to you.
- Mom says to tell you that I love you and I'll do anything for you except lie, cheat, or steal. Anything. Except maybe prostitution. Yeah, I can't see myself doing that for you guys either.
- Don't drink and drive. Don't do drugs. Don't get pregnant until you're married (RH...).
Ahh, I'm not getting anywhere. Time to look up cheesy team oriented quotes? I think so...
I am a member of a team, and I rely on the team, I defer to it and sacrifice for it, because the team, not the individual, is the ultimate champion. - Mia Hamm
Well that was the only good one I found on that one site I was on. There are too many "team" quotes that are about particular teams and such. Irritating.
I can't make that writing black. Ugh that's annoying.
- B is an amazing coach. He really knows what he's talking about. Listen to him. I'm serious.
- You all have done so much for me throughout the years. I really appreciate everything you guys have done. You've helped me through the toughest parts of my life. You guys give me infinite strength and joy.
- I will always be here for you guys. Remember that I'm always a text, a facebook message, and email, a phone call away. If you ever need help or advice or just need someone to talk to, I'm here. I'll laugh with you, I'll cry with you. I will always be here for you guys.
And once again my brain is fried. How is it that I have so much to say but no words to explain my feelings? Am I just dumb? Am I incapable? There are so many words and feelings in my heads, so many things that I need to say to these girls. Things that I need to get out to them. Why can't I find the words? Ugh. I'm done for now.
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