Team Time

Today has been quite the day. I started off by singing at mass for the Archbishop. Which is a pretty big deal. Because the Archbishop doesn't exactly come around and pay frequent visits to parishes or anything. My whole choir did a really great job, I'm glad for that. I came home and just wrote and wrote and wrote. Mostly essays for school, nothing good (otherwise I would have posted it here). And after I wrote and wrote and wrote I got to carve my pumpkin! I carved a pikachu. Yep. Be jealous. And, yes, I just added "pikachu" to my dictionary. Because that word is as legit as they come.
But, we all know that I'm not here to ramble on about my day. If I was just going to ramble, the point of this project would not be hitting me very well. But it is. So it's time for some untangling.


I said that I was going to untangle some more cross country stuff but I never actually did that. I tried a couple of times, but it just wasn't happening. We had our last meet yesterday, however, so I guess it's about time that I get around to it. Honestly, the thing about cross country that I need to untangle the most right now is what I am going to say to each and every one of those girls at the banquet. Over the years I've tried to teach them, to help them grow, to show them where I stand in the world, to let them know I'll always be theirs. But now I have one last speech. One last time to give them everything I have in as few words as possible. One night to show them how much they mean to me. So I guess I'm going to use my writing time today to start listing off all the things I've wanted to say to them. Here we go.


Oh jeeze I don't even know where to start. Goodness gracious. I knew this would be hard (that's why I'm starting so early) but my, oh my.


"Hey girls. I've probably already cried at some point tonight, and if I haven't yet then you can feel free to expect some tears now. Because look at us. Seriously, look around at all the faces. Look at the family you are apart of. And honestly, you don't really think about it, but you don't get as much time with the family as you'd like to. As a freshman you sit in those chairs thinking of all the years ahead of you. And you know you're going to make it through them, but deep inside you really don't have any idea of what it's all going to be like. And then you're a sophomore which is just kind of an awkward age in general where you've finally got some of the ropes down (and other ones not so down). And suddenly you're a junior and you're an upperclassman and things are finally starting to fall together but then it all changes. You're a senior, and the year that you thought would be the best turns out to be a year of looking back, of remembering all the times behind you and preparing for all the times ahead of you and hardly being able to sit down and look at right now. And I know that everyone tells you that your high school years go by fast and I know that you'll roll your eyes when you hear it again, but you'll never realize exactly how fast it goes until you're in my shoes... my tall high heeled shoes (sorry, Babs). And another thing that you'll never realize is just how much all y'all mean to me. Because, honestly, you guys have gotten me through some pretty rough times. You may not have realized it, but sometimes you were the only thing that helped me crawl out of bed in the morning. You are honestly one of the reasons that I am still living today, and I thank you for that. You guys mean the world to me. And there are a million things I want to tell you and I've already talked forever and you're probably already wishing I'd just sit back down, but that's okay. You guys can listen to me ramble for a bit longer. After all, you've always been there to listen to me. To help me smile when I feel sad, to direct me when I'm lost, to lift me up when I've fallen down. And now I'm sitting here trying to impart all my wisdom on you guys and I don't even know where to start. Uhmm. Don't drink and drive. Really girls, that's dangerous. I can't have any of you doing that. Don't do drugs. "Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise?" Alright, sorry, Mean Girls quote moment. That's a good movie. Anyway. Now I'm just rambling even more.
Goodness gracious I'm a mess."


Alright, that's all I've got for tonight, I just can't get myself past that wall that gets me into spilling everything that needs to be said. But breaking some ground was all I needed for now.


ps. I promised my friend that I'd mention her in this post about three seconds ago. I have this friend ML who is one of the most beautiful, wonderful people in the world and I am so glad that she is in my life. That's all.

Uhm.

Today is the end of my existence as I know it. Seriously. Today was my last high school cross country practice. Ever. Cross country has run my life (get it?! RUN?! Anyway..) since I was in seventh grade. The funny thing is that I don't even know why I started cross country. Who likes running? Especially before they start. I certainly didn't think much of it before my seventh grade year. Honestly, I had tried out for the school play my sixth grade year and I hadn't made it. My seventh grade year I decided not to try again (by then I had discovered the magic of musicals). I guess that I just wanted something to do that fall while all of my theatre friends talked about rehearsals and such. So I started cross country. I literally have no memory of considering it, no memory of those early practices. I guess that it must have been a good time. At any rate, I did it, and although I don't know the reasons I started, I do know the reasons that I haven't stopped (I could write a whole post about this alone, but I won't). Running is one of the most beautiful things life has to offer. Who likes running? I do. I love running. I adore running. And my high school cross country team has changed my life for the better. And now it's over, and I'm not quite sure what will happen to my life now. I'm going to miss seeing the girls every day, I'm going to miss my crazy coach, I'm going to miss the exhilaration that running gives me. And just because the season is over doesn't me I won't see the girls or the coach; it doesn't mean I won't run. But it certainly will never be the same. And what am I going to do about it? I'm going to let myself feel. I'm going to open myself up and let my vulnerability out for those girls who have changed who I am, for those girls who have supported me every step of the way. I'm going to show them what they've done for me and do my best to show them that I'd always do the same for them. Some people close themselves off during the goodbyes, but that's not what the world is about. If you don't feel at the end, then what's the point of feeling throughout? I'm going to let myself hurt and cry for what has changed, and I'm going to let myself shine for the life I have ahead. And this post doesn't really make any logical sense and I don't even care. Maybe now isn't the time to speak coherently. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow. When I can write this better. Yeah, I'll do that. Goodnight.

To: Jordan

I'm sorry that I haven't replied to your comment yet. These last few days have been crazy, but I've been thinking about what you said a lot. Honestly, I cried when I first read your post. And every time that I've read it since, I've teared up. I can't imagine what it would feel like to be in your position. I really don't. But, if I try hard enough, I can almost imagine it. It must be scary, knowing that you can't do anything to help someone that you love so much. It would be hard knowing that you haven't been a part of her life. I very much hope that you'll be able to get in contact with her. I don't know what the chances of that are, but I hope you do. I want you to know that I really, really appreciate you opening up to me like that. It means a lot to me that you're willing to share. Just know that I'll be thinking about you and your sister and praying for you both. I'm really glad that we have class together. And, by the way, I've been loving your posts. Thanks again. Hugs.

People

I've been so busy with everything going on. These last few days have been quite full. I've really wanted to write, but I just haven't had the time. Which is why I'm trying to write something, anything, in this time I have after my French test.

Sometimes the best friends we have are the ones we don't realize are there for us. I have a friend who I've always loved joking around and having fun with. But today he took the time to let me know that he was there to listen if I ever needed someone to talk to. This isn't the first time it's happened to me. I've had a decent amount of people try to reach out to me as they've noticed the depression (even if they don't know what they're noticing). It always means a lot to me. The thing is, it makes me question how much people know about those who they are around. There are people who you interact with every single day who care about you, even if you don't really feel as though you're friends. People feel alone, but they are surrounded by people who care about them, regardless of the status of their relationships. I've worked hard the last few years to try to help those around me see that I care about them, even if we may not be close. I don't want anyone to feel alone in this world, because it is a terrible thing to feel. So the next time you are hurting, look at the people around you and think about how they probably care about you, even if it may not seem like they "should."

MLP - 9 years

I am a computer. La da dee da.


My sister wanted me to write that down. She said, "do you think your teacher will accept that?!" I told her I'd write it and see. So, Mr. Russel, do you accept it?


She's very proud of herself because she gave me something to write about. And no matter how much she was joking when she said it, she really did give me a topic. As she laughs her little laugh and kisses my forehead before skipping upstairs, that amazing little child gives me a topic. Her. Look at her. Lemme find a picture... (shuffles through online files)... or three...

That's her playing dress up with some girls from my cross country team at the team sleepover.

This one's just a cute one of her dressed up.

And here's one of her surrounded by my winning cross country leagues team.

Do you see her? Happy and beautiful? My whole cross country team adores her. All of my friends ask about her. She is enraptured by my friends. She soaks up every bit of attention she gets from them, and - trust me - she gets a lot of attention. She looks up to every single girl on my cross country team, and looks up to every friend I have. She always cares about how my friends are doing and how they are, and on top of that she cares for me. She's such a sweet sister. (The untangling part is coming... don't worry). At nine years old, she's a bright flower with the world new around her.

But I sit and think. Every single girl on that team cares about her. Every single girl on that team would spend their time with her. They would help her if she needed it. They love her to pieces. But will she remember that when she's older? When she sincerely feels the need to have people around her? Will she know that she was loved so much, and by so many? Because I know that I don't remember that. The depression blocked out my happy childhood memories. When she gets to be my age - when she gets old enough to really need support - will she know that she had so many people behind her from her start? And what about me? What will she think of me? We have eight years separating us. Eight years dividing our lives. Right now, that's no big deal. We're as close as two sisters can be. But what about when I leave? She "graduates" from lower elementary school the same year that I graduate from high school. I'm going to be gone to college for so many crucial years of her life. What will happen to us then? How can I still be her sister when we are so far away? How can I help her? How can I give her advice and hold her in my arms when she get's hurt if she's miles and miles away? I know she'll always love me, but what will our relationship be like when she starts seeing me less and less? Will she remember all the love and support that I have given her thus far - will she know that I will always be there to give her love and support?

It's a particular knot that will be untangled as we grow. I know that we'll find a way to always be together. After all, we will always be (as she has affectionately nicknamed us) best bunches sisters.

Venting

What is it about venting that takes everything crawling beneath our skin and releases it out, letting it fly away?

Silent Protest

On Tuesday I participated in the Pro-Life Day of Silent Solidarity. All day I received nothing but positive feedback on my choice to stay silent for those who would never have a voice. High fives in the halls, comments about how people were proud of the choice that I was making. All positive. Until the very end of the day, where I came into class and I was told by a boy that "you people" were "stealing" the silent protest idea from the gays. I started to formulate a response and, being unable to say it out loud, grabbed my notebook to write it down. However, by the time that I started writing, I realized that he'd already walked away. I wasn't angry or anything about what he said. As a matter of fact, he's a kid that I respect quite a lot. He has a lot of good points to make about the world. Even if we don't agree on everything, I think he's a great person. I decided that I'd write a post about silent protests so that I could get my points out about silent protests and why they don't just belong to homosexuals.


Various forms of protest have been used to get people's points across for centuries. People work to find effective ways to change the world around them. Silent protests have been one of the ways that people have found as useful in displaying their ideas and beliefs in a nonviolent way. My friend seems to be misinformed when he says that the silent protest idea was stolen from homosexual people. Silent protests were used long before the gays started their Day of Silence in protest of the bullying and mistreatment of gay/lesbians/transgenders. As a matter of fact, the silent protest has been used for at least one hundred years. In example, it was used by the NAACP in 1917 to protest about black massacres and lynchings (http://www2.si.umich.edu/CHICO/Harlem/text/silentprotest.html). More recently, silent protests have been used by colleges against the Communications Decency Act (http://scripting.com/twentyFour/silentProtest.html). Another use of silent protest by colleges was to show discontent with the government's plans to "introduce higher tuition fees, cut state funding of higher education by tens of millions of pounds, and promote the 'marketisation' of universities." Silent protests have been used by different groups for different causes for quite a long time. One group using the silent protest technique does not give the the "sole rights" to use a silent protest. As a girlfriend of mine pointed out, "silent protests are just like the silent treatment! We've been using silent protest since we were little. Nobody has the 'rights' to it."
I would like to thank my friend for bringing up the gay silent protest. I like having the chance to stand up for my beliefs and share them with those around me. I guess I'd just like to point out that before you put somebody down for doing something, do your research to make sure what you're saying is right.

Too much on my mind to care.

I need to post something. as it says in my about me, I have so many things to say while also not having anything to say. I know that this doesn't quite go with my Daffodil topic, but I'm just going to write some things down because it's just one of those days.
Ran the cross country league meet today. It was beyond cold and insanely windy, but to be honest it was a really great meet. Which was nice, because my day was just not going well. HGXC won the league, which was pretty exciting.
I really, really need to get moving on my college stuff. REALLY, REALLY need to GET MOVING.
my iPod doesn't autocorrect when I'm typing in caps. Hmm.
Cast list goes up tomorrow. I'm excited and nervous in a hundred different ways and I honestly just want to see it and get into the musical. I love musicals. So much.
Today my philo teacher pretty much told the class that most of my class hasn't been taking this project seriously enough. The class is too focused on duedates and grades while not thinking about this project the way it was intended to be used. From what user, I think I'm one of the ones who's doing it right. O know that I'm not posting as much as I need to be, but I'm not doing this project for grades. In doing it because untangling my brain makes me a better person. Because it helps me learn about myself and the world around me. Because I am reaching for excellence. I hope that it still looks like I'm doing that.
I like music, guys. I really do.
I think I use twitter as a way to help people (and myself) more than any other things that people use twitter for. I go on twitter to help people who ate getting down on themselves. I've created a nice group of people who all support each other. Which is awesome. But I don't want to talk about twitter.
This is turning into another wrote put, except it's much less profound than the last one ended up being. Sorry, all. I hope you didn't waste too much time reading this.
I'll do a better post next time, everyone. Right now I'm just tired from the day and the meet and I need to get some sleep. Goodnight!

Write Out

Today I'm going to be doing a write out. A write out is pretty much just me getting all of the mumbo jumbo in my head out somewhere so it's not all trapped and tangled up in my brain. A write out is a method of untangling in and of itself and I've found it tremendously useful when I have a lot of things going on/stressing me. My apologies in advance for the fact that this post will not be nearly as lyric or eye-opening as many of my others. It's probably going to be disorganized and such. Don't read it if that's going to bug you. Just sayin'.

<Note. If you'd care to get an inkling of how this all feels to me right now, read in a rushed, panicky voice, stumbling over the words like you're unsure of who you are and where you're going. That'll get you there.>

Where to start? Ah, that's not hard. Being sick beyond belief is never fun. I don't get all that sick usually. If I'm "sick," it's something that I muster through, not taking any time off or breaks to compensate. It's never that bad. But this week I've just been ridiculously slam-bang sick. I missed three days of school and parts of one other, sitting on the couch in the fetal position holding my stomach. I just felt like I was gonna throw up all the time. So dizzy. Bad headache. But mostly just a terrible feeling in my stomach. It was quite incapacitating. And you'd think, "oh, all that time at home, Trisha had plenty of time to write out untangling blog posts! Why aren't there any up?" Let me tell you why. Because I was ridiculously sick. So sick that thinking honestly made me feel worse. One of the days I did some homework for about ten minutes and I ended up laying on the couch again, in twice the pain as before. My brain was just too muddied for anything, including untangling. Sigh. And so now I have to make up all my school work. I got lucky, because none of my teachers got too far ahead while I was gone, although I did miss a calculus test, a french subjunctive quiz, and a few philosophy vocab quizzes. All of which I should be making up on Monday. And speaking of Monday, I have musical auditions. I am beyond nervous. Which is silly. I'm more nervous than I've ever been trying out for a musical. And why? Because when I was a little sixth grader, not long after I'd been in my first musical ever, somebody opened my eyes to the fact that I was actually a fairly talented actress. Everyone at the school was talking about the day where I would get the lead, saying it was soon. Unlike them, I told myself one thing: hey, I don't have to worry about getting a lead now, or next year, or even the year after that - none of that matters. The only thing that matters, I said, is that I get the lead my senior year. Afterall, by the time I'm a senior, I should have built up enough experience and talent to be the lead of a show. This thought calmed me and took so much pressure of off me every year until this one. But this is it, my senior year, and now I'm facing the audition that will determine whether or not my dream of seven years will come true. Will I be the female lead in the musical? This is the audition I've been planning for since I was eleven. Now I'm so scared that I'll let myself down. And honestly, two weeks into the musical I won't care what part I have. All that will matter is that I have a part and that I'll be loving my last high school musical. But for this week, I'm going to be tortured by leads and supporting roles 'til kingdom come. This audition has to go right. I have to memorize all the music, figure out what kind of blocking to use with the music, learn a page of lines, and just be generally perfect on Monday. And then again on Thursday for callbacks. The stress of it all is killing me. "You only get one shot; do not miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime." This is going to sound crazy, but this is one of the parts of the musical that I really love. Because even though I stress through every moment of it, freaking out in every new breath, it's one of the times where I feel the most alive. In these moments, I'm real. But not only am I real, but I am also real as an embodiment of someone else. It's beautiful. Theatre is amazing. But for now I'll just stress and freak out about auditions and callbacks that strive to ultimate perfection, yearning for the lead under the spotlight. On top of the stress from musical, I have college looming ahead. I have to pick which colleges I want to apply to and get teacher letters of recommendation and write essays and fill out applications and do a million other college related things all while considering everything you have to consider while considering colleges such as ACT scores and GPA's and distance from home and therapists and good programs and options in extracurriculars and clubs and a bajillion other things. And yes, I know bajillion is not a word. Get off my back. I think my cross country coach is feeling distastefully toward me at the moment because I've missed so much practice and I'm going to be missing more, maybe even a meet. We're both worrying about who to appoint as captains next year because our candidates are few and sketchy. I'm trying to enjoy my last cross country season while preparing myself for everything ahead. Bajillion. Bajillion, bajillion, bajillion. Swear. I took my senior pictures today and my mom wrote this adorable blog post about me growing up which made me cry. I tend to get panicky and cry a lot when I'm under pressure. And I shake more. Shaky, shaky Trisha. I've been having trouble sleeping cuz stress messes with my sleep medication. I'm trying to be a good friend to everyone, a good daughter to my parents and a good sibiling to my brother and sister. There's so much going on and all the time is passing too quickly for me to hold onto. There is no slowing down in this world of progression.

I have too much to do and I can't sit at this computer any longer, so I must go. Thanks for reading.

ps. I like italics.

Surrounded by People

Last night I had my whole girl's cross country team over for a team sleepover. We spent the whole evening just enjoying being together in every way. We really enjoy our time together as we are a very close team. We stayed up late and then woke up this morning and ate breakfast. Slowly everyone was leaving the house, and it just felt really good. Somehow, being with friends is so rejuvenating. It takes all the unhappy problems and whisks them away for a while. When with friends, one can just let loose and enjoy being surrounded by people who love them. That's how it is with my team. We spent that evening together and my whole world became brighter. All of a sudden I was not alone; I was loved and cared for. I was apart of something bigger than myself that also made me important. We were a group all raised on pedestals. "And in that moment, we were infinite." For that time together, we empowered each other in ways nothing but a close group of friends could. I sat on my own after everyone left and just felt wonderful about the world. I was loved. I was cared for. I was important in ways I'd never thought I was. I spent the day cocooning in these glad thoughts and happy feelings, allowing myself to soak them up for the future.

Now let's turn the topic. When we are feeling really bad, we so often turn away from those we love. We desire to hide in our beds under the warm blankets - warm and apparently safe from the hurt of the world. All alone, we wallow in depressive thoughts and drop ourselves further into the dumps. This alone-ness doesn't help.

If, when we were hurting inside, we turned to our friends: got together with them and allowed them to fill us up, we wouldn't keep the sadness inside. We've all seen the effect that a good time with friends can have on us. Being with them can turn a bad day on it's head. So why do we yearn to be alone in our darkest times? Why do we run from our greatest asset?

So many people seem repulsed by those who "self-harm." But what they don't realize is that self-harm comes in many forms. Everyone who tries to hide away and doesn't seek help from friends in their down times is hurting themselves. Every time you make the choice to hide in bed instead of trying to make yourself happier is hurting yourself. To be honest, everyone hurts themselves to an extent. Generally it is unintentional - but unintentional doesn't make it okay. People need to look at the choices they make and analyze whether or not these choices are positive or negative for them.

Stop hiding away from your problems. Use your assets; your friends can turn your world for the better.

Stop hurting yourself.

Pressure

Students go to school seven hours a day. Those who are involved often spend another hour or two at the school, practicing sports or participating in a meeting. Then we go home, and have hours of homework. Such large chunks of our days are overruled by school. What happened to the time when kids could be kids, when students would run home and spend hours on end exploring the world with their friends? When school was for book learning and home was for a different kind of learning: the learning that didn't feel like learning. Does anyone remember those times?
One of the problems with society today is that it is too tightly wound. Everything is focused on getting great grades and being involved and being accepted into the best colleges and jobs. Kids have so much pressure put on them every single day. I, as a very involved student who gets solid grades, know how much this pressure can crush a kid. There is a point where all of the responsibility and expectations forced upon us become too much - there is a point where we crack.
The world in general puts too much pressure on kids. Yes, we are the future. Yes, how we are shaped now is important. But why doesn't society value the imagination and critical thinking that comes from free time? It's proven that kids who use their imaginations end up doing better in many categories. My generation is losing so much imagination and critical thinking. I'm worried about what is going to happen to our kids. We are being programmed into robots, forced to do more work than necessary. And, because of this, we don't get time to do other things that will help us grow in ways that school stifles. We turn to entertainment such as video games and social networking sites that don't allow us to work our brains. We listlessly sit in front of the television screen, lulled by the flashing colors. Why? Because we don't have time for anything else. We don't have time to go out with our friends or explore the world around us. We don't have time to get involved in our communities, we have no time for fun and games. By the time we get home and finish with our homework, we only have time to plop in front of a computer or a tv before we head into bed.
Now I'm not saying that this is every teenager. I know teenagers who have plenty of time to go out and be with friends or find new things to do. But that doesn't mean that they do it. Kids look around them and see thousands of other brain dead kids with no time to have fun, and think that they are supposed to end up like that. Nobody can break the memes forced on teenagers by society. There aren't enough teens who see themselves as strong enough to break the world, and even if there were enough, we wouldn't have the time to do it. I don't know what we can do about it - Rome wasn't built in a day; there's no way we could change teenage life in a short period of time. But I wish that people could see that their lives are being ruined by their lack of activity; I wish that they would try to do something about it.

What defines you?

I thought about writing this post a while ago, and at the time I remember having a lot of things to say about it, Now I'm trying to get them all to flow back. Hmmm... think, Trisha, think...

In Taylor Swift's Innocent she says. "Who you are is not where you've been... Who you are is not what you did." This brings the question: what truly defines who you are?

Is who we are where we've been? I don't think so. People are born into bad lives and forced into bad situations. These struggles don't define who they are. Kids can be born into a family that has no money or resources, into a neighborhood where crime is high and gangs are powerful. Does this have to define that child? No. In some cases, it does. Children grow up surrounded by the pain and violence and become filled with pain and violence themselves. But other children grow up dreaming to overcome their environment - these children end up fighting the pain and violence to become overall better and stronger people. If you've been in a bad situation, that also does not define who you are. There are some things that life throws at us that we just can't change and these things cannot define something as personal as your being.

Is who we are what we did? This question presents a little more of a challenge. When asked, "does what we do define us?" people generally answer yes. They believe that the choices made in life define a person, whether for good or for bad. But what about what we did? Does that define us? To some extent, it has to. If our past choices don't define us, then we have nothing there to be looked at. Something must define us, after all. If we are not defined in some way, then we do not exist. But how much does it define us? People do make mistakes. We cannot hinge our beliefs of a person on one wrong choice. However, we do make our choices for a reason. These reasons show what we truly are and therefore define us. But, honestly, I don't think that what we did defines us nearly as much as what we are in the process of doing. I'd much rather put stock in the present than the past, as this is the clearest sense of where a person is at any particular moment.

Who we are is not where we've been or what we did, but rather what we are doing.

Innocent

I really adore the song Innocent by Taylor Swift. Some songs just speak to you, and this is one that speaks to me. I'm going to post the lyrics here, then I'll write a post about some specific lyrics I'd like to discuss.

"Innocent"

I guess you really did it this time

Left yourself in your warpath

Lost your balance on a tightrope

Lost your mind tryin' to get it back

Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?

Always a bigger bed to crawl into

Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything

And everybody believed in you?

It's alright, just wait and see

Your string of lights is still bright to me

Oh, who you are is not where you've been.

You're still an innocent

You're still an innocent.

Did some things you can't speak of

But at night you live it all again

You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now

If only you would seen what you know now then

Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catchin' days?

When everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you

Wasn't it beautiful runnin' wild 'til you fell asleep

Before the monsters caught up to you?

It's alright, just wait and see

Your string of lights is still bright to me

Oh, who you are is not where you've been

You're still an innocent

It's okay, life is a tough crowd

32, and still growin' up now

Who you are is not what you did.

You're still an innocent.

Time turns flames to embers

You'll have new Septembers

Every one of us has messed up too

Lives change like the weather

I hope you remember

Today is never too late to be brand new

It's alright, just wait and see

Your string of lights is still bright to me

Oh, who you are is not where you've been

You're still an innocent.

It's okay, life is a tough crowd

32, and still growin' up now

Who you are is not what you did

You're still an innocent.

You're still an innocent.

Lost your balance on a tightrope.

It's never too late to get it back. 

Homecoming Dance

Sorry everyone, it's been a while. With homecoming week going on, life has been pretty crazy.

Went to the homecoming dance last night. Believe it or not, this is the first dance that I ever went  to with a group. I seem to be quite the loner. Somehow I got invited to go with a group this time, and I was really on the fence about whether or not to go. I am really close with half the kids in the group, and I don't really like the other half. It's nothing against them - our personalities just don't quite mesh very well at all. Do I suck it up and go with the group to be with my friends or do I go myself to avoid the people I don't like? Obviously, I chose to go with the group. Did I make the right choice? Well, this one girl pretty much ruined the mood the whole night. She was complaining and angry at everyone and just acting ridiculous. But honestly, everything else went well overall. I got annoyed by the people I didn't like, but I was able to justify and overlook my frustration with the happiness that came from spending an evening with close friends. "I danced the night away." I laughed and was able to just be myself (and was told more than once that I looked slightly better than decent.. (:  ). The night was worth it, even though I spent much of it with people I don't get along with.
So riddle me this: why do we deal with the people we hate? I guess it's because we love some people so much, that we're willing to do anything to be around them. We know that these people we love can cheer us even in our darkest moments, and we count on them to help us laugh at the insanity flying around us. And that, my readers, is what friends are for.