Trisha

Hi! My name is Trisha. I am eighteen years old and I live in Michigan. This is me:

May 7, 1994: I was born.

I lived the good life as a child. Both of my parents love me and would do anything for me. I really appreciate the role they have played in my life and I certainly wouldn't be the person I am today without them.

This is me and my brother. All of our pictures together when we were younger were of us hugging and being silly. He has always been my best friend.

Useless Fact #1: I loved to wink when I was a kid. I winked at everybody.

I'm quite the romantic, in both love and world-thinking. I adore cheesy love movies and cute stories about couples. However, I also love to look at the world as a place full of opportunity and good. Sometimes I can get pretty sad, but I always try my best to look at the world through a realistic but positive lens. 

Useless fact #2: This is my first crush. I used to chase him on the playground trying to get kisses. I once said - and I quote - "I don't like him, but I'm just going to grow up and marry him someday." Although my childhood love has not and will not grow into anything more, it was lovely while it lasted. I keep these fond memories close to my heat.

This is my sister. We are eight years apart. Despite this gap, we are as close as any two sisters can be. She lights up my life each and every day. Yes, my hair was that long. It got even longer before I ended up cutting it off.

Useless Fact #3: Every Christmas, I sleep with a Santa hat on my head.

As I have grown, I've found that I love many things. Singing, especially in musicals, has come to be incredibly important to me. I started musicals at age 11 and have done one each year ever since. Other things I love include writing and reading.

My family on my mom's side originally came from Ireland. The one time I really traveled out of the country I went to Ireland to see my family. The other side of the family is quite the jumble. Overall, I've found that nobody on my dad's side of the family has really looked at my heritage. However, on top of Irish, I know I'm German, Russian, and Cherokee Indian.

I love the world. I really do, even though sometimes I say otherwise. I have depression. I've been diagnosed since 2010 but I think I've had it since around 2008. I have been in some of the deepest, darkest places that someone could ever be. When I was at my worst point, I was self-harming and even had a plan of how I would commit suicide. Depression made me repulse food to the point where I dangerously lost about 11% of my body weight in a short time span. I pushed away from people. I will admit that there were times I stood with the pill bottle in my hands ready to kill myself - times when I wanted to do it so much. However, I fought and am now rising into the light. I'm not totally better, and I don't know if I ever will be, but I am never giving up this journey. Life is too valuable.

Depression can consume someone even at the times when they are supposed to be happiest. See this picture? It was taken just hours after I had slashed my wrist open with a safety pin. See all the bracelets? I covered it up so nobody would see at the midnight mass for Christmas. I look pretty normal and happy, don't I? Depression can affect anyone - even those who look the happiest. Those were the days I was hurting the most inside and (even when I wasn't hiding it) many people didn't notice. What mattered, though, was that people did notice and they were there to help. As I said before, the world is a beautiful place; people just have to look to see the beauty.

Useless Fact #4: I went running in a tutu once. Best run of my life right there.

If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here. I know what if feels like to look in the mirror and hate yourself, to want to hurt yourself and end your life, to not want to eat. I also know what happiness feels like, though, and joy. I am always willing to talk.

You can reach me at fishthetrish@gmail.com

With love, from Trisha   xx