My sister wanted me to write that down. She said, "do you think your teacher will accept that?!" I told her I'd write it and see. So, Mr. Russel, do you accept it?
She's very proud of herself because she gave me something to write about. And no matter how much she was joking when she said it, she really did give me a topic. As she laughs her little laugh and kisses my forehead before skipping upstairs, that amazing little child gives me a topic. Her. Look at her. Lemme find a picture... (shuffles through online files)... or three...
That's her playing dress up with some girls from my cross country team at the team sleepover.
This one's just a cute one of her dressed up.
And here's one of her surrounded by my winning cross country leagues team.
Do you see her? Happy and beautiful? My whole cross country team adores her. All of my friends ask about her. She is enraptured by my friends. She soaks up every bit of attention she gets from them, and - trust me - she gets a lot of attention. She looks up to every single girl on my cross country team, and looks up to every friend I have. She always cares about how my friends are doing and how they are, and on top of that she cares for me. She's such a sweet sister. (The untangling part is coming... don't worry). At nine years old, she's a bright flower with the world new around her.
But I sit and think. Every single girl on that team cares about her. Every single girl on that team would spend their time with her. They would help her if she needed it. They love her to pieces. But will she remember that when she's older? When she sincerely feels the need to have people around her? Will she know that she was loved so much, and by so many? Because I know that I don't remember that. The depression blocked out my happy childhood memories. When she gets to be my age - when she gets old enough to really need support - will she know that she had so many people behind her from her start? And what about me? What will she think of me? We have eight years separating us. Eight years dividing our lives. Right now, that's no big deal. We're as close as two sisters can be. But what about when I leave? She "graduates" from lower elementary school the same year that I graduate from high school. I'm going to be gone to college for so many crucial years of her life. What will happen to us then? How can I still be her sister when we are so far away? How can I help her? How can I give her advice and hold her in my arms when she get's hurt if she's miles and miles away? I know she'll always love me, but what will our relationship be like when she starts seeing me less and less? Will she remember all the love and support that I have given her thus far - will she know that I will always be there to give her love and support?
It's a particular knot that will be untangled as we grow. I know that we'll find a way to always be together. After all, we will always be (as she has affectionately nicknamed us) best bunches sisters.
I know I don't know you very well Trisha but I think I can understand where your coming from... This is totally not me to write something personal to someone I barley know but what the hell here I go... I Live with my mom, just my mom. It's been like that all my life, my dad has never lived with me and hes never been married to my mom, I saw him about 5 times until he decided no more. But the only time I ever was in tears over it is when I saw the baby. This small little girl, never even found out her name. My dad had another child to a different women that I had never met or was told about. But on one of those 5 visits with him, He took me to his baby's mothers house and I got to see her, I got to look into her eyes and see such a innocent little baby who had no idea of the situation. I had always wanted a sister and I knew she was just half, and trust me everyone told me "she's not really your real sister Jordan get over it." Yeah, no. But anyway.. I had to go and left. Not realizing it was going to be the last chance to see my sister in over a decade. I know I never built a connection or whatever with her, but I feel her out there and I worry even though I have no idea how things are going with her. I wish i was there when she was growing up, I wish i had the opportunity to see MY sister go from a baby to a girl in middle school. I never got a chance to even see or hear about it. But I know what, If I ever get a chance to see her again, I'd hug her for all the years I couldn't see her. All the birthdays I missed and all the good and bad times I wasn't there for. I guess this story let me vent this out. If your still reading this. Cool =P
ReplyDeleteBut I don't know how she'll see it, all this love coming at her from basically a stranger in her eyes. But I think of love as a knot sometimes. If it's loose there will be wholes. and if it's to tight, it'll snap. So yeah, I'm just typing by now.. I should probably write this on my blog but eh. And if you are still reading this.. wow. anyway cya in class i guess? buh bye.
Well, I guess that if you teach her how to use electronics, you can talk to her and see her every day while you are in college. It is not the same as being with her, but it is better than not talking or laughing together every day. And, since you are probably not going to college in a rocket ship, you will see her many times throughout the school year. Real love is faster than light, and it can be felt almost instantaneously once emitted from a source.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, tell your sister for me that I am a lamp post La da dee da.
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